Top 10 Trends of 2011 We’d Like to Forget in 2012


sheepEvery year has its ups and downs: things we’d like to remember, and things we’d just like to forget. So, what were 2011’s answers to 2010’s unfortunately ubiquitous butt-toning shoes, rompers, and jeggings? Undoubtedly we were all guilty of following the herd and indulging in one or more of these unfortunate fads at one point or another, so let’s take a look back and have a laugh at our own (and 2011’s) expense.

10. The Dukan Diet

Dukan Diet

Everybody was doin’ the Dukan after it became common knowledge that Kate Middleton (also responsible for the pantyhose resurgence) had followed it leading up to her wedding. The diet is basically a low-carb, high protein diet (a shocking change from other fad diets) that follows a series of complicated “stages.” As far as I can tell, the dieter begins eating very little and eventually can still eat very little but with two “celebratory” meals a week – oh happy day! Like every fad diet, this may as well be called the “misery and then gain it all back” diet because yes, users will lose weight when following the diet because they are depriving themselves of nutrition they actually need and yes, they will gain it all back the moment they start eating normally. It’s 2012, people. We should know better than to do any crash dieting by now anyway, so let’s all just resolve to be a little healthier and spend all the time we spend thinking about weight thinking about our homework and see where it leads us (Spoiler Alert: Generally more pleasant people and with better grades).

– Stacey Mackenzie

9. False Advertising

Taylor Swift Covergirl

While this has never been “cool,” false advertising was seen everywhere this year. From umpteen different brands of shoes that claim to tone your legs and butt (yeah, that’s just called walking), to out of control claims about the capability of cellulite creams, to mascara ads so retouched they had to be pulled (Taylor Swift never did mention the CoverGirl NatureLuxe Mousse Mascara tear drops on her guitar), 2011 saw some of the most controversial “advertising” to date. The bright side of this is that N.A.D, ASA, and the FTC did take action and adbusted the companies that had false information, creating greater public focus on media literacy and even leading celebrities such as Britney to release her un-photoshopped ads in order to allow people to compare the difference. I say keep the media literacy and adbustin’ a-coming without the excessive false ads that made them necessary.

– Stacey Mackenzie

8. Spirit Hoods

Spirit hood

Occasionally something becomes inexplicably trendy even though nobody, and not nobody in a “nobody watches the Kardashians” kind of way but in the actual “I have never seen any real person wearing this” kind of way, spirit hoods are 2011’s example. These are the hood meets scarf meets animal abominations that celebrities such as Ke$ha were seen wearing frequently and the overall effect, at best, leaves you looking like the guy who doesn’t want to put in any effort on Halloween so he straps his kid sisters tiger costume around his head. Let’s make this stop please.

– Stacey Mackenzie

7. Harem Pants (Again!)

Harem pants

The solution to the question “what would happen if skinny jeans mated with a skort and spiced things up with an elastic waistband?” (Spoiler alert: a pant that only looks good on Gwen Stefani and maybe Lady Gaga…if she wore pants). These fashion faux-pas were even on last year’s list, but that didn’t slow them down. A few years ago, harem pants reappeared for the first time since MC Hammer rocked an eerily similar style in the late 80s, and their popularity (hopefully) peaked in 2011. Not to offend anyone who may wear them*, but these are a style of pant that have confused men and been highly debated by women, and quite frankly we probably have better things to be thinking about. So lets hang up the harem for the next 15 or so years until they come back around.

*This writer actually owns a pair that are also patterned *coughfashionvictimcough*

– Stacey Mackenzie

6. Kardashian Karnage

Kim Kardashian

Proving that the definition of “forever” is when the cheque cashes, the Kardashian klan reached new heights of fame (sigh) in 2011 after Kim Kardashian divorced her husband after 72 days of marriage and a $10 Million dollar wedding (for which they did not pay and did in fact make money from). The marriage may have been short, but Kardashian fame seems never ending. And while I don’t know a single person who admits to watching even one of their five shows or buying the products they endorse, somebody has to be because this family just will not quit. Yet we shouldn’t lose hope, 2011 was also the year that Barbara Walters called them “talentless” and James Bond (Ok, Daniel Craig) called them “a group of idiots.” Hopefully this year we can leave this in the past because, really, watching their show is helping nobody – least of all them. Seriously guys, we can do it! Remember Paris Hilton? Didn’t think so.

– Stacey Mackenzie

5. That’s a #Fail

#

Why make a witty remark when you could hashtag-size your joke? The wittier you are, the more likeable your personality is—both online and offline.  +10 followers on Twitter! +10 more laughs at a pre-drink! In 2011, a whole new level of hashtag hilarity ensued, with everyone from your BFF to the late great Jack Layton plugging social media lingo for real life scenarios. I’m going to sound like a #hypocrite, but using/saying “hashtag” outside of Twitter just doesn’t fly. While your friends may “get it,” hashtags on Facebook can shun less technologically-savvy friends, like my one-profile-pic nana or Farmville-farmin’ 9-year old cousin. Oh, #thatawkwardmoment when your mom asks you why pound signs must go in front of every punchline to make ‘em punchier.

– Emily Fister

4. Hipster Killed the Emo Star

Urban Outfitters

Hipster – (n). Indefinable. Hipster jokes were the go-to jab in 2011, much like cracks at the emo kids were at their heyday in 2005. While the trend is to taunt this young subculture succeeding the hippies, no one wants to admit that they are hip. Those who do are surely poseurs—the crowd who just discovered Animal Collective on MTV. There’s a bizarre battlefield emerging, with an elitist hipster claiming that they are not hipster, and half-hipsters secretly deleting all Colbie Caillat plays on their Last.fm (guilty). All of a sudden everyone is a hipster, with apps like “Hipstomatic” on the iPhone at the fingertips of a CEO or bar bitty. The counterculture is mainstream culture (see: Urban Outfitters), and it’s as evident as autotune in a Ke$ha song. Who, by the way, isn’t the enemy—it’s okay to indulge in pop music. Smile, hipster kid.

– Emily Fister

3. Celebrities Go Gaga

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga is arguably the number one trendsetter in popular music today. She rocks the meat frock and you must accept it as an artistic statement. She fastens a fetus (+ umbilical cord) to her head and you must applaud it as a political move (disclaimer: this has not happened…yet). And so the creative licenses of all other subordinate stars were surrendered to their PR team. Nicki Minaj and Katy Perry followed suit, changing hair hues and accessories all the while claiming that they were “born this way.” Their overarching philosophy: place a huge object on your head that will give off killer migraines, but will earn you at least one red carpet write-up. At the 2011 MTV VMAs, Gaga one-upped all the big-haired ladies by dressing in drag. Projected female musician trend for 2012: prosthetic junk.

– Emily Fister

2. Rebecca Black Is the New Black

Rebecca Black

Rebecca Black reinvented the “Friday night anthem” wheel only to run herself over. Her smash single, “Friday,” became an Internet meme faster than you could say (or sing), “trololololol.” Rebecca Black bought herself fame (well, her parents gave her a loan to be forever alone) and taught kids everywhere the days of the week. Meanwhile, she confused the teens to 20-somethings—what “bowl” did she “gotta have,” exactly? ARK Music Factory sure did manufacture the biggest one-hit wonder since Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Achy Breaky Heart.” After about a month and a half, Black became the old black and “Friday” belonged to TGIF songstress Katy Perry. Honourable mentions go to Jenna Rose for her poignant jam, “My Jeans,” and setting the bar for 12-year old consumerism.

– Emily Fister

1. Feather Hair Extensions Take Flight

Feather hair extensions

Back in ’97, every cool girl on the block rocked a Skip-it and donned a Spice Girl temp tattoo. In ’11, every hip girl rode a fixie, her feather hair extensions frolicking in the summer breeze*. From the coop to couture, hair feathers fluttered into fashion trend territory. The bizarre thing about these multi-coloured strands is that their origin is unknown. Did they descend from the heavens off of Mother Goose’s back? Which came first, the chicken or the feather hair extension? Facebook adverts are now boasting, “Join the tribe and become a Featherhead.” Maybe there’s now some weird initiation ceremony in which the girl must slaughter the bird to reach womanhood? Mostly, I’m awaiting the latest flock of fads to descend upon Western: Canada Goose feather hair extensions.

*Noted: Author was once said hip girl, until tragedy struck when her bike broke down and feathers took flight.

– Emily Fister

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